As part of our company mission to keep well-being simple and accessible I do a weekly Thursday's thought. This Thursday's thought is about assumptions.
How often do you make assumptions?
Actually all the time, and you probably don't even notice, we all do it. Our mind runs away with us and we create a potential outcome or a reason why an event happened maybe is just guessing how somebody might react.
An example of this would be;
“My partner didn't do the dishes because he's annoyed at me.”
Well how much of that is true?
If you just look at the facts, he didn't do the dishes.
The reason why he didn’t do the dishes, unless you have a conversation, you don't know.
I often hear complete scenarios from my clients, “If I do X, then so-and-so will happen and then this person will respond this way.” Therefore they try and make their decision based on how somebody might possibly react.
The other thing to consider is that there's also emotions attached with all of these thought processes. When our mind runs away with these scenarios, we're feeling the potential emotions, these aren’t usually focused on the good but often the negative. It's usually a feeling of being judged or neglected or guilty or feeling like we're going to upset someone or that we're upset.
Why does our mind even do this?
Our mind likes an outcome. It's unknown, and so if we don't know the outcome, our brain creates one for us.
That's why we all do it but how often have you made an assumption, maybe felt a certain way and then found out the truth?
Then when it all plays out you think what was all that worrying about?
An example I have heard several times is;
“Why isn't my friend getting back to me? Why haven't they been in touch for a while? That's so unfair of them, that's double standards, is it something I've done wrong?”
And then you find out they've lost their phone or they've not been well or they've just had so much going on in their life, and when you hear the explanation you can understand it.
Another thing we make assumptions based on, is our experiences, our beliefs and so actually the assumption we're making is not about someone else, it's actually coming from ourselves and our own thoughts.
A suggestion for you to try is just simply observe. When you do have your mind running away with you? When are you making assumptions? Take note of what it is and ask yourself how much of this is fact? And then just also observe your emotions and I'm sure you'll notice that it's so much calmer, more peaceful place to be when you don't let the story run away with you.
Owner of Pura Vida Living
A well-being company with the mission to keep well-being simple and accessible to everybody.