This week's Thursday's thought is about self care versus selfishness.
I often hear the thought or the belief that I can't put myself first, I can't take any time for myself, self care it's selfish.
This tends to stem back to what were taught as a child;
"Put others first"
"Make sure you share"
"Think about other people's feelings"
I'm certainly not trying to dispute that they are bad lessons to learn, but we end up taking it to an extreme where we believe any sort of self care, or thought of ourselves, is selfish.
Yet we also know that if we don't take time for ourselves, whether it be to rest, whether it's because we're not doing anything fun for ourselves, any sort of enjoyment, fulfilling our own values - we end up feeling burnt out. When we're burnt out we're more likely to get ill, more likely to be snapping with the children, have an argument with our partner, our colleague, our friend, be less productive work or on our business.
The thing is we often create this pressure in our own heads because we believe self care is selfish and we've got to keep doing things.
But where would we be without that belief that self care is selfish?
Well if we took a bit of time out for ourselves, it actually benefits those around us not just ourselves. We're more likely to be understanding of our partner or our friend, more likely to be calmer with our children. We're going to be looking after our health better, our immune system is going to be working better. We're more like to be able to focus on our business or be productive at work, or whatever the current project is.
So that is my view; self-care isn't selfish. In fact by helping yourself, you’re also helping other people. Yes I do think we have responsibilities and I completely appreciate there is things we do have to do and not always that we want to do, but self-care doesn't need to be complicated.
In my renewed you program, people start putting into place well-being habits from as little as five minutes a day. The internal work alongside that, once you understand the patterns you're running and how to change them, can actually take no time at all o resolve and you can be kinder to yourself and understand your thoughts and your beliefs and your values and your emotions better throughout your day and throughout your life.
So I simply invite you to consider;
Where do you perhaps believe self-care is selfish?
Where are you running around feeling like you need to put everyone else first?
Where can you just be inquisitive about how much of that is true?
Where could you just take a few minutes for yourself?
And how would it benefit you and others around you?
Owner of Pura Vida Living
A well-being company with the mission to keep well-being simple and accessible to everybody.